Finding Carter
by whoaitsmina
Summary: Following the current storyline, with some extra twists. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Please let me know if you guys enjoy this! I'm going to be picking up where the show left off and write about my predictions in the upcoming season! I would love to hear suggestions! Feedback is appreciated (:

**Chapter 1**

Carter's POV

_"This is love. This is that unbearable feeling-" _No...Crash. Come back.

That whole night played over and over in my head- in my dreams. Every time I woke up before the sirens but this time, I woke up somewhere other than my bed.

I sat up and remembered how I got here. A motel room? Where is Lori? Where's my phone? I have to call mom, surely she tracked me right? She'll be here any second, I know it.

I got up to look for my phone but sat right back down with the migraine that just crashed through my head. _Crash._

It shouldn't have happened the way it did. He should have turned himself in but he left me no choice.

Unfortunately, Crash is the last thing that is on my mind. The door is locked from the outside, which I don't how that's even possible. Lori is nowhere in sight and I have no idea where we are, the phone is disconnected and the only window is the tiny one in the bathroom that not even Grant could fit through. I look around the drawers trying to find a brochure, map or something that'll tell me where we are but no luck.

There is a toothbrush and coffee ready on the small coffee table and a note.

_"Morning, baby! I ran out to get you some clothes to wear since we left in a hurry. I'll be back in an hour. There is fresh coffee and don't worry- I'm gonna grab some breakfast on the way back. Love you!"_

__What the hell? Left in a hurry? More like kidnapped_ (for the second time!)_ in a hurry. I don't know why this wasn't so clear before. She isn't okay. She never was.

I try banging on the walls and the doors but suddenly everything gets tighter, the air gets thicker and I find myself on the floor by the bed.

How did it get this bad? Why am I locked in? Why would my own mom lock me up like a hostage? _Because I am. _

I dare myself to think the worst and imagine never being found. Never seeing Taylor or Grant or mom. She must be going crazy. If she put out an Amber Alert when I willingly ran away, I can't imagine what she'll do when it was an actual abduction. Contact the pentagon?

God, where is she? I glance at the clock, its 10 but I don't know if its night or day. Surely I couldn't have slept through the night? There's light under the door but I don't know if it's from a hallway or actually daylight.

I pace the room while the minutes pass as if they were hours and finally after 15 excruciating minutes Lori starts unlocking the door.

"Good! You're up! We gotta get on the road!" She says as she takes her baseball cap off.

Suddenly everything I worked up in my head vanishes. I forget everything I wanted to say to her and just feel heavy. Like I want to get swallowed up by gravity.

"Baby, I know everything happened so fast but I had to think on my feet. Now we can be together! Isn't that what you wanted?" She starts walking towards me and I back away. I eye the door because she didn't lock it and she follows my gaze. She sighs and goes to lock it.

"I think you just need some time to think. I grabbed some muffins, banana nut -your favorite."

"Lori-Mom, I'm scared. I know you would never hurt me but this looks a lot like a hostage situation right now. Where's my phone? I want to talk to Taylor and Grant." I say and lean against the wall.

"You can call them when we get to where we need to be. I understand you have siblings now but we can't risk it honey." She says and starts pulling clothes out of a bag.

"No, you listen to me. You kidnapped me, against my will! I don't want to be here and I don't want to run away with you. Don't make me say these awful things, Lori. Just let me go and I won't tell Elizabeth where you are. You can get a head start but please just let me go!" I run towards to door and try to unlock it but I know there's no way its opening with out a key.

"If that's what you really want..." She starts crying and the words get lost in murmurs.

I feel like my heart is sinking but I don't acknowledge it.

"Please just unlock the door, I'll get home. Don't worry." She looks at me but doesn't move.

"What did they give you that I didn't? Siblings? Your own freaking bathroom? We we're happy! I can't believe you would turn your back on your mom." She cries out but grabs the keys anyway.

She shoves them in my hand.

"I did this for us. When you find out the truth it's going to be too late, Carter. I'll be too far away. You'll realize how big of a mistake you're making."

"Well then tell me! What is this secret that I'm supposed to find out?" I scream out but she doesn't answer.

"Ask David." She says and locks herself in the bathroom.

I grab the keys and step out. It's nighttime. I go to the lobby, borrow their phone to get a taxi and pray that Lori is wrong. That I'm not making a huge mistake by leaving the woman that raised me.

~~~~~~I know this was a short chapter but I'm just testing the waters (: Let me know if you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

Please let me know if you're enjoying the story so far! Enjoy!

**Chapter 2 **

Carter's POV

In the taxi, the driver asks me where I want to go and I don't know the answer. I want to go back home but I don't want to face everyone. I don't want to be cradled, I just want to think and clear my head.

"Hey little girl, I got other customers waiting. Where are you headed?"

I don't know Bird's address. I don't know the prison's address.

"Do you know where the prison is?" He raises his eyebrows and rolls his eyes.

"The one outside of town?"

"I-I'm not sure. Where would they keep someone whose about to have a court hearing?" I ask but I'm not even sure if his sentence has been finalized or not.

He nods his head and starts the car.

"Can I borrow your phone?" I ask and he eyes me in the rearview mirror.

He hands me the phone anyway. I call the house phone because I don't have anyone else's phone number memorized.

"Hello?" It's Grant. Thank. God.

"Hey, Armadillo." I smile silently but I'm sure he can hear it on the other end.

"Carter! Are you okay? Where are you? Hold on, I'm calling mom. She's at the station, we'll come get you right now! Daaaad! It's Carter!"

"Hey, wait! Don't tell them yet. Look I just want to talk to Taylor, is she there? It's so good to hear your voice. I'll tell you everything when I get back but I just have to take care of something first, okay?"

"What do you mean? So you're not coming back?" He asks and I can hear the excitement fading away from his voice.

"No, I am. I just want to ask Taylor something. Look, I'll call mom in a couple of hours okay? Just put Taylor on." He sighs but I know he won't turn his back on me.

"Hold on." I wait and I can hear him climb up the stairs.

"Carter? Grant told me you we're going somewhere. What is going on? Where is Lori?" She's hyperventilating and I can barely make out any words.

"Taylor, I'm okay I promise. I miss you guys so much. I want to see Crash. I want to apologize. Do you know where they're keeping him? I know you're the last person I should be asking but I didn't know who to call…" I can hear my voice cracking. This was such a bad idea.

"Hey, it's okay… I understand. I don't like it but I understand."

Taylor confirms that they're keeping him in the place the driver predicted.

"Thank you so much. I'm going to call mom from there, okay?"

I get her phone number and write it down on my hand.

I don't know what I'll say to him or if he'll even want to see me but I need to explain myself.

The car pulls up and my legs freeze under me. How am I supposed to pay this guy?

"Uhm…I don't…"

He sighs and unlocks the doors.

"Just get out." I do as I'm told and hope that nothing worse will happen.

I step inside the holding facility and the lady eyes me suspiciously. I probably don't look like a ray of sunshine right now.

"Hi-uhm I just want to talk to one of your…inmates." I fidget with the ends of my sleeves and she doesn't answer for a second.

"Honey, there's no visitors past 6pm. Do you know what time it is?"

Of course there isn't any visitors. How can I be so stupid? It all just hits me there at that second.

My boyfriend shot my best friend. My mom kidnapped me for the second time. I'm standing in the middle of a prison wanting to talk to Crash in the middle of the night and all I want to do is crawl in bed and scream in to my pillow until my voice is gone.

Apparently I started crying because the lady is now on her knees next to me asking me if there's someone she can call.

I shove my hand towards her and she sees the numbers scribbled on my palm. She gives me a small smile and pulls out her cell phone.

"Hi, I'm calling from the City Prison. I have a young girl here and she told me to call this number. She's in bad shape and I don't think she can- yes I understand- okay."

She hands the phone to me.

I look at her and start sobbing some more.

"Mom?"

"Oh, Carter. Honey, what are you doing over there? I'm 10 minutes away just hang tight okay? Hand the phone back to the lady."

"Yes, I understand. I'll make sure she's okay." She hangs up the phone and helps me stand up.

"Who we're you hoping to talk to?" She asks as she helps me sit down in the waiting area.

"Crash, my boyfriend he was arrested- because of me. I just want to apologize."

She sighs and glances at the clock.

"We have 8 minutes, come on."

She talks into a walkie and tells them to bring out inmate 845 and she sits me down in a small room.

"This never happened." She points a finger at me and when she opens the door Crash is standing with his head down.

I'm not sure if he sees me at first. Maybe he's expecting someone else?

"Crash…" He finally looks up. I can't read his eyes. There's so much going on.

He looks at the prison guard then at me. He crosses the room in 2 long strides and hugs me so tight I lose my breath.

"No physical contact, come on I'm already risking a lot here." She says and pulls him off me.

"Crash, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry if you would have just turned yourself-"

He puts his hand on top of mine across the table. Is he not mad at me? How can he not be mad?

"Thank you." He looks in to my eyes the way he did when he told me not to worry.

"I would have never been able to do it on my own. It was the right thing to do." He sighs and shrugs across the table.

"The tapes proved that it was an accident but since I ran I'm looking at least 5 years." He doesn't make eye contact and I can tell how hard it is for him to talk about this.

I reach for his hands this time.

"5 years is better than being a lifetime fugitive, Crash. Max is okay."

He looks at me like I'm speaking a foreign language.

"What about you? Are you okay?" It's the hardest question I've been asked in the last 5 days and I don't have an answer. Instead, I lie.

"I'm perfectly fine. I'll come by again, okay? Soon. I have to go. I just wanted to see you and make sure you didn't hate me." He doesn't know about Lori or where I'm coming from he just looks defeated.

I get up and the chair screeches on the floor.

"Wait- Carter." He stands up with me. He puts a hand on each of my cheeks and smiles warmly.

"I meant what I said. You're the only person in my life who matters but I don't want you to do something stupid like wait for me. You deserve so much better. Anyone would be better than me." He says but it's my turn to act like he's speaking gibberish.

"Stop- no don't even start with me, Crash. I'm not going anywhere. I just wanted to apologize to you. I'll be back, okay?"

He sighs and I leave the room. I will be back, right? At this point, the only thing I'm certain about is that I do not want to be awake anymore.

~~~~~ I hope you enjoyed guys! Let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions!


	3. Chapter 3

I hope you guys are loving the story so far! This chapter was a little short and uneventful but it was needed for the rest to come! Leave a review! It really helps out in letting me know if you guys are liking it so far (: Enjoy!

**Chapter 3**

Carter's POV

I woke up the next morning with nothing but coffee on my mind. I don't even remember how I got downstairs but suddenly I have a huge cup in my hand and it's like all the spider webs in my head are disappearing. I can finally think clearly.

"Good morning, honey." I don't respond to dad because even though I had missed him, what he did is still a fresh wound in my mind.

Taylor and Grant follow suit and soon the whole kitchen is filled and there's a bowl of cereal being shoved in my direction, orange juice flying across the counter and peanut butter being spread on 6 pieces of bread.

This is why I didn't choose Lori. In this moment, family is the only thing that's familiar and I never want that to change.

"You okay, Carter? Still shaken up?" Mom asks and puts a hand in the small of my back.

"Yeah, I'm just so grateful to have you guys."

Everyone pauses and trades glances.

"Group hug!" Grant yells and everyone scurries to the closest body and I can physically feel the love from each person.

"We're going to be late! Carter, why are you still in your pajamas?" Taylor bites in to a huge piece of toast and goes off to find her jacket.

Usually after I get ready for school, there's a text from Crash waiting for me to read. There isn't one today and I find myself sitting in the corner of my bed, staring at my phone.

Why did it have to get this bad? I make a mental note to visit Crash after school and shove my phone in my backpack.

The day passes by slowly yet surely and I'm sick of answering "I'm fine" to everyone who's got the Amber Alert on their phones and heard about the accident.

Why can't things get back to normal?

I ask Taylor for the keys to the car and punch on the prison's address in my phone.

The lady at the desk recognizes me and gives me a warm smile.

"You feeling better?"

"I am, thank you so much for what you did the other night. It really meant a lot." I hand over the cupcake that I bought on the way and she smiles ear to ear.

"Crash will be right out."

I sit down waiting in the room but something feels different. Maybe it's because we have time to talk. Maybe it's because this time, I actually have to listen.

"Carter, I told you last night…" He sits down across from me but I give him a small hug anyway and take a seat.

"I know but I think you're wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. You shouldn't have left me all alone with Max-doesn't matter. I understand why you did what you did."

"No, you don't. Carter, this place is like a blessing in disguise." He smiles to the floor and takes a deep breath. "You deserve so much more. And you never would have gotten what you deserve if I was still in your life. This is good, for the both of us."

He starts to get up and I can feel the rage boiling inside me.

"How can you even say that?! Crash I know you're a good person. You just haven't been given the chance to prove it!" I grab his hands and make sure he doesn't leave.

"That's just it, Carter. I have. I've been given lots of chances and opportunities. Even your mom gave me the chance but I still failed. I break everything I touch and I refuse to break you even further, Carter. You're more fragile than you think."

He looks me dead in the eye and I swear he can read into every syllable in my heart.

"When this is over, I'll find you. I promise I will. God knows you're the only thing getting me through this nightmare. But for right now, I can't keep doing this to you. You have to let me go, Carter."

I'm hearing his words but none of them are registering. I want to object but all I can do is cry flimsy tears and he slips through my fingers.

Alice, the lady at the desk smiles her usual warm smile but I'm too busy with trying to leave the premises.

It's weird because I'm not mad. I'm a little sad but all in all, I don't feel completely broken. Like I had this coming.

I start to drive home but decide to visit Max first.

I can't believe he's still even speaking to me.

"Hey, you." I knock on the door and enter.

"Heeeey, where have you been?" He doesn't know about Lori.

"Uhm, Lori kind of kidnapped me again." I smile through my teeth and his eyes bulge out of his skull.

"What the heck do you mean she kidnapped you?!" He starts sitting up but I can tell he's in pain.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm fine. Seriously! Elizabeth was trying to catch Lori and I was camped out and Lori drugged me. She let me go though when I told her I didn't want to run away with her." He was in complete shock.

"Carter… I told you she was trouble." He takes my hand and the next thing he blurts out causes my eyes to go outside my own skull.

"I broke up with Taylor."

"What! Why?!" I ask with impatience.

"She was just spending every waking hour here and not going to school. Like she dropped her whole life just so she can come here and read me bedtime stories. I just didn't want her to sacrifice so much. Plus, I have to get back to my parents'." He smiles shyly but I know it hurts him more than he's letting on.

"I think that was a stupid move, Max. Taylor loves you more than anything. And I know you love her. She would have waited until you got better. If you would've just talked to her and…" He cuts me off.

"It just wasn't working, Carter. I didn't want her to see me like this."

"Okay." There's nothing else I can say. This is all my fault. If it wasn't for Crash, Max wouldn't be here and him and Taylor would be happy right now.

"Max, I'm so sorry." I try to convince him that I truly am sorry for everything and hope that he believes me.

"Hey, none of this is your doing Carter. Crash is just bad news. This has nothing to do with you. You just wanted to talk to your mom." He smiles but I know he doesn't mean it. He couldn't after the things I did.

"Look, this is all going to get better. I'm going to get out of here and we're going to be back to breaking into carnivals in no time. Okay?"

I hug my best friend hope that he's right because I'm truly exhausted, from screwing everything up to trying to fix them.

I leave the hospital and head home to talk to Taylor. She must be devastated.

~~~~~~I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think (:


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Carter's POV

"_Dear Carter,_

_I don't like the way things ended. I thought writing this letter would help me put to words what I couldn't in person. One of the guys in here suggested I write letters to people who I've hurt but I told him there wasn't enough paper in the world. So I picked the person who mattered the most to me. My biggest regret through all this is losing you, Carter. I'm not writing this to make you sad but I'm hoping it'll help you move on for now. I have every intention of coming back for you. Trust me. Until then, maybe I'll get a glimpse of you through these letters…if you choose to write back. I'd love to hear how you're doing. There's still so much that needs to be said but I'll get there in time. For now, I just want you to be happy. I need to know that you're doing okay even though I ruined everything for us. I hope Max is doing okay. _

_Yours,_

_Crash."_

Oh, Crash. What am I supposed to make of this? He tells me to move on and yet he's still lingering around with letters that make me want to cry until my tears run dry.

"Carter? You in there?" Mom knocks on the door.

"What? Yeah, what's up?" I ask and hide the letter under my pillow. I was so lucky to catch it when I got home from school.

"Your dad is at a meeting with his editor. Says it'll be all night. I was thinking we could have a girls' night, plus Grant." She smiles and puts an arm around my shoulders as she sits down next to me.

"So he's still going through with it? The book?" I ask and keep my gaze down.

"I-I'm not sure. They could be meeting about a new book idea. He didn't mention it to me." She says and smiles as she squeezes my shoulders.

"Girls' night sounds great." I say and get up from the bed to find Taylor.

"Great! I'm going to go pick up some ice cream and you and Taylor can get started on something to eat?" She asks, already out the door.

"Hey, Taylor! Where you at girl?" I open the door to her room but there's no one inside.

"Taylor?" Not in the bathroom.

"Taaaaaaylor? You down here?" Not downstairs either.

I run out the door to catch mom before she starts the car.

"Mom! Wait!" I wave my arms in the air and she gets out of the car.

"What's wrong?! Are you okay?!" She asks frantically.

"I'm fine, where's Taylor?" I ask.

"What do you mean? She was in her room a little while ago? I heard music coming from her door." She says as she starts towards the house.

We both go upstairs to her room and she's nowhere insight. I try her cellphone and we find it ringing on top of the dresser.

Mom gives me a look of worry and sits on the bed. As she does, something falls to the ground. A piece of paper.

"It's a letter." I say as I pick it up.

"_Mom, I'm fine. I just needed to get away for a little while. I'll be back soon. XOXO."_

"What the hell?!" Mom yells and paces the room.

"Where could she have gone?" I ask to the silent room.

Grant walks in with a confused look, as always.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"Your sister decided to run away!" Mom yells and throws her arms in the air in frustration.

"What do you mean? She's standing right here." He says and points at me.

"Your other sister, Grant!" Mom says impatiently.

"Taylor? She'd never run away. She feels bad about cutting the crust off her sandwiches. I doubt she'd have the guts to run away." She says and chuckles.

I throw the letter in his direction.

"You know, it feels good to not be the only problematic child in this family. It was getting lonely." I get a dirty look from mom.

I'm actually proud of Taylor. It was about time she did something for herself and not someone else. She got lost in the midst of everyone else's problems. Including mine. If anyone deserves to get away for a little bit, it's her.

"Mom, don't worry. Taylor is responsible. She won't do anything stupid. She'll probably read a book in the library or something and be back before dinner." I say and give her a small hug.

"We can't even track her! We have no idea where she is!" She exclaims and paces out of the house.

"Mom! Don't even dare call the station about this. She'll be back in no time!" I yell after her.

But she isn't listening; she already has her boss on speed dial.

I go back upstairs with Grant.

"Wow. Taylor ran away. Props to her." He says as we both sit on top of the stairs.

"Where do you think she went?" I ask with my elbows propped on my knees.

"I have no idea. Maybe to see Max?" He suggests.

"No, they broke up."

"I know but maybe she went to apologize."

"Maybe." I say and hug my little brother.

Will it ever end?

~~~~~~Please leave a review if you're enjoying it so far! I don't know if I should keep going with this story if no one likes it! Haha Thank you to those who have reviewed so far (: Let me know what you think, suggestions are always welcome!


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